July 21, 2011 § Leave a comment
I know, I know. Whatever, I suck. I’m a little spacey, you’ll get used to it. You’ll be pleased to know that I’ve been occupying my time really, really well (obviously) in the following extremely productive and responsible ways:*
1. I’ve had my face surgically altered to look like this:
Do you liiiiiike it?
Just kidding! I’ve been super addicted to doing face masks and peels because it makes my skin soft and I get an excuse to post the fun gifs I make and it makes my skin slightly less terrifying and then I don’t have to hide my face in shame when I go out in public. (Who are you kidding Brianna, you live on the internet, alone in your bed, drinking wine that’s only 8% alcohol out of a tiki glass). It’s a win for all, honestly.
2. Tweeting at and getting promptly ignored by D-list celebrities. Although the radio DJ from Power 105.1 (New York’s source for hip hop and R&B) is more like an F or G list celebrity. Come on dude, I just wanted to know the name of that song you played at 2 am on Sunday night, I’ve got more tumblr followers than you do Twitter followers, cut me a B-R-E-A-K. My best foray though, was with Pendleton Ward. Level with me here. Princess Bubblegum rules the Candy Kingdom, right? That means she’s made out of fucking bubblegum. We need an episode where she gets captured by a giant supervillian that accidentally swallows her and blows her into a giant bubble. Is that genius or what? He’s missing out on millions and I can’t say I didn’t warn him. I clearly need to get paid for giving people good ideas that they don’t listen to … or something.
3. Making about 12 billion of these for a quilt I’m almost done with:
Fascinating, Brianna, tell us more.
4. Becoming president of the official Winona Ryder Fan Club, because I’ve finally perfected looking exactly like her with the beautiful purchase of this all denim jumper:
Perfection costs only 3.99 at the Salvation Army, yo.
5. Who am I kidding you attention span ran out about four paragraphs up. Tune in next time for some gratuitous pictures of stuff I’ve made that has already been posted on every social networking site in existence, and a deep, insightful reflection on why I draw so many pictures of cats in precarious situations.
* Honorable mentions include eating 12-25 jumbo marshmallows per day, taking naps less than 5 hours after I’ve woken up, and completing the entire first season of Degrassi in 3 days.